Jan 27, 2009

There is a God - I knew it!

There was fire in the Bangalore Forum Mall food court. There were no casualties reported. The food court area will be restored in a week. Timely action by the Fire Department avoided this incident turning into a tragedy. At the time when the fire broke out there were reportedly more than 6000 people in the Mall.

Though I am glad that there were no casualties, I must really appreciate Agnideva. Well done,man! Maybe this will scare the hordes of useless people who rush to Forum every free minute of their humdrum lives. Mostly what I am happy about is that this incident has proved to me the presence of God. God exists! He watches all!

He has seen the hideous blot on the landscape, that bottomless pit of tacky consumerism, that epicentre of life threatening boredom and mass manufactured discontent. He has seen the people spending their hard earned money on that ugly hideous disgusting shit sold in the name of food in that Food Court. The vomit triggering overpriced eatery! That is why He decided to punish them. He started the fire in the food court. Let this be a warning to all! If people don't mend their ways anymore, He is going to take one Landmark next. I am sure.

How I hate Landmark! With their ugly stuffed toys and cards and useless appurtenances sitting right next to their stuffy overpriced blingy book collection! Fuckers!!! Remember ,you are a book store! Not a dealer of Hidesign bags, not a vendor of cheap Gelf Chocolates, not a T-shirt Store! You are a book store. Invest in books! In art! in LITERATURE!!!!!!! Not other shit! Watch and learn! God is watching!

What I pity the most in Forum are the couples. Lots of couples who sit on the Forum steps and pretend that it is a beach or a park or their couch at home. No, it is not! You can have your Rs.25 sickening sweet corn and feed to each other lovingly, grain by grain and nibble each others fingers or gaze into each others eyes, but FYI,it is not a beach! Just 5 feet away from you is a uniformed security guard checking bags and a metal detector through which people pass. Get real! If you are sitting here because you have no money to go anywhere and you don't even have a place to go to, it is really sad for you. I pity you. If you are there, because you think you are cool, only God can help. You are beyond shrinks, that is for sure.

What can be done with Forum? Raze it down to the ground. Make a park of it! With benches and fountains and heavy foliage for couples to come and well,socialise, ground for children to play in, a huge surrounding walkway dotted with shops which sell books,clothes, shoes, fresh hot yummy authentic food etc at reasonable prices. Better,no ? Better than hanging out at Westside and Cafe Coffee Day, you sad sad people!


  1. This coming from someone whose salary comes from consumers of retail. Forum is our granary, darling - Chin up.

  2. @K:

    I hate organised retail! I hate organised everything!

    Sigh! Its so difficult!

  3. You are plain angry Gomes.

    This is how angry people talk, "I hate organised everything!"


  4. @ Lash:

    Nah! I am a more "crimes of passion" person. :)

  5. I am telling, me not God, is going to start a fire at Landmark or is it now called Starmark!

    *goes to the back to get his match-box*